On The Fence…

Always.

Family. Friends. Work. Politics. Holidays. Everything. In the middle. Perpetually torn. No peace. Unsettled.

Fleeting moments… Clarity? Happiness? Balance? Nope, nope, nope….you don’t deserve those things.

Rebel.

Over compensate. Over commit. Over spend. Over indulge. I’ll show you!!! I deserve this. I am enough.

Shit. Overwhelmed. Spinning. Drowning. I need air. I quit. Recluse. Step away. Ignore. Recharge.

Feeling guilty.

I want it all. I want nothing. I belong here. I belong nowhere.

The fence. My ground zero. It’s where I feel safe, even though I’m not content. Too scared to step on either side.

Nope, nope, nope….I will not allow this.

Stand the fuck up. Put on my big girl pants. Get my shit together. Stop feeling sorry for myself.

Rebel.

Over compensate. Over commit. Over spend. Over indulge. I’ll show you!!! I am enough.

Shit. Overwhelmed. Spinning. Drowning. I need air. I quit. Recluse. Step away. Ignore. Recharge.

Feeling guilty.

Repeat.

Always.

I will stay on the fence…

Exhausted. Torn.

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